How Love found me

In my Introductory post  you got a small glimpse into what type of person I am. Now for you get a small glimpse into my life, I am going to share one of the most important moments in my life: How love found me.

Contrary to popular belief, I believe that we cannot find love, love will find us. All we need to do is to be open to it. We need to be observant to the cues that our body and, more precisely, our souls give us. 

Disclaimer: This is based on my belief and my experience. This may not be how it is, was or will be for you.  Everyone experiences life differently.

Ok now that that is out the way let the story begin! Once Upon a time...Just kidding this is not a fairytale although at some moments it felt like one.

I was 20 days from turning 19 when I  met my soulmate. It was 2008 and I was in my first year at Stellenbosch University. But to get some context into my way of thinking lets rewind to when I was 15. Now my upbringing was very open with regards to sex and love. Both my Mom and Ouma would answer any questions that I had at the time and I felt comforted that I had someone to guide me and  that I wouldn't have to face pubity in the dark. 

I was allowed to read love story novels by Johanna Lindsy and Judith McNaught. I know what you are thinking "I would never let a 15 year old girl read books that have sex scenes in them!! She will know what sex is!! and go have sex with the next boy she meets!" Oh the scandal!! Lets just keep her in the dark and make it as if sex is forbidden. She is a teenage girl!! It is not like she will go and do something that is forbidden. 

You know what I learned in these books? That sex and love are intricately connected and that as a 15 year old girl I was too young to understand that connection. All of the characters in these books found love once they were 19 or older. I got to understand my awakening sexuality without the need to experience sex. I understood that sex is not just a physical connection but also a spiritual connection and that having sex before you are truly ready could warp your idea of love and what it means to love and be loved. 

So the questions I asked my Mom and Ouma were not about sex but about love. I asked how they met their love (my Dad and Oupa) and how they knew that they were truly in love and it wasn't just an infatuation. I learned that love can find you when you least expect it and that you will just know that you are with the right person. It is something you will know almost instantly it will feel right.

Fast forward to 2008, my first year at Stellenbosch University. Now I was a typical teenager in a sense that I went wild with all the freedom that I was suddenly given. I partied till the early hours of the morning and pitched up hanging or still tipsy to 8am classes. It was a fun time in my life. I met a lot of guys. I kissed them without knowing their names, but I never dated them for longer than 2 weeks as there was no feeling of it being right and most of the time they annoyed me. So instead of wasting my time with a relationship that I knew wouldn't work I ended it. That was pretty much the first 6 months of my University experience. At one point I told a guy that wanted to get serious that I just don't feel like I am going to be ready for a serious relationship and that I don't want a boyfriend right now. Little did I know that 2 weeks from that night I would meet the one man that would change my life forever.

On Friday the 1st of August 2008 I woke up not knowing that this is the day my life will change. 

I learned of a sale at Marcel's that morning where the tubs of my favourite frozen yogurt will be R5 a tub. Bargain!! only problem was that I had classes from 8am with a 3hour chemistry practical till 5pm. No time to get to Marcel's and it was a one day sale...oh the pain. So I turned to my party pal, lets call her Julia. She didn't have a practical on a Friday, so I gave her money to go buy some of the tubs for me. Come 5pm I walk out of my particularly boring practical and call Julia. She lets me know she has met her cousin from Cape Town and has started drinking at the a bar called Bohemia. I inform her i will meet her there. Now I wasn't in the mood to party this weekend I just wanted my frozen treats and to curl up in bed and watch a movie. So I go home quick to drop off my textbooks and make my way to Bohemia. When I get there there is no sign of Julia.

I call her. She says they moved on to her cousins friend's place where they are continuing the party. I remember the place. We were there back in March when I met her cousin for the first time. So a little annoyed I make my way there. I just want my yogurt dammit. I get there and excitingly she tells me that tonight is the annual German carnival called Matika and that I have to go! Now Julia is from Namibia and her cousin is German and all his friends are German too. I decide since it is only once a year I should experience this. Life is all about experiences so why not experience how the Germans party. I get introduced to the group in the living room, the brandy bottle half empty in the middle of the round coffee table. There was Michi 1 sitting on a bean bag, Michi 2 on the couch next to Mathias, Erik and I already knew Julia's cousin Nicolai. 

We drink, we laugh and have an all round good time while we wait until we have to make our way to Matika. Now I haven't paid much attention to the guys there as just two weeks before I had told someone I don't want a relationship but suddenly this man comes down the stairs. He is in a white shirt with a black blazer and jeans. He is tall and blonde and far from my usual brunette type, but I am instantly attracted. I cannot believe that this is the same Michi that was sitting on the bean bag next to me the whole time. I lean over to Julia and whisper "Dibs".

We are now ready to go to Matika. Now there are 7 of us and one car. I am the last to get in the car. I notice the squished 4 on the back seat and think "nope I wont fit there". Then I see Michi in the front seat and I ask if I can sit on his lap for the journey. Every time we braked his arm around my waist got tighter and I remember thinking to myself "This is going to be easy". Let the games begin! My expectation is that this will be a fun weekend fling, and by Monday it will be just a fond memory.   

 We get to the venue. We buy our tickets and drinks and go to our table. Now the thing with partying with Germans is that your drink is never empty. I just finish one and another one is placed in front of me. I offer to pay for the next round but the guys just didn't let me. Now at this point in time I am sitting by Michi and I begin my flirting. Now not to sound vain, but normally I just need to smile or make eye contact with a guy and they come stumbling over their feet after me (I know it sounds very vain, but it was true). I don't wear any make up (I hate the stuff) and I was mostly in Jeans, Flats and a funky (but not revealing) top. I will blame my incredible amount confidence for my success in attracting the opposite sex.          

Now with this tall handsome German, that I can't stop staring at, I try my usual tactics. They don't seem to work. In fact it doesn't even look like he even noticed. So lets try something different. All guys like boobs right. Granted I am barely an A-cup but what I am about to do will be a crystal clear sign that I am interested and that he should make a move. So I lean in push my meager size breasts together with my upper arms as I lean on my hands and ask him if he can translate the skits that were happening as they were obviously in german and the only German words I knew was Scheiße and wunderbar. He turns to me happily starts translating without skipping a beat. 

Disappointed I cross my arms and pout at my defeat. This man may either already have a girlfriend or he is just not interested in woman or worse, me (how dare he!). Later in the night when all the skits are done and the party really begins I am taken on the Dance floor by Julia's cousin Nicolai. There he tells me that it is obvious that I am interested in Michi. Everyone in the damn hall can see it. He advises me I must just drag him on the dance floor. So this is what I do. I pull this poor unsuspecting sap on the dance floor. During our dance I lean up to him so that he is literally needs to move a millimeter and our lips will meet. He turns his head away and turns bright red and we leave the dance floor. Then the penny drops. This handsome man is incredibly shy. Scheiße.

Lets pause our story there, and rewind to my first infatuation in my Matric year. Almost exactly a year before this fateful night. Now I had a huge crush on one of my friend's older brother. Lets call him Jack. Now this friend and I would meet at her house and study for Matric Finals almost everyday. I would casually (more like awkwardly) flirt with Jack in between studying. I knew that he knew I liked him. The problem was he was incredibly shy. It took him almost 4 months to ask me out, and by then I was 2 weeks away from leaving for Stellenbosch. I had to turn him down. I told him if he had asked me sooner we would of had at least a four month foundation to be able to have a chance of a long distance relationship. Starting a relationship with him with me leaving in 2 weeks just wasn't viable.  

Back to our story. As I realize that Michi is incredibly shy, I think of Jack, and the time I wasted on him but most importantly the lessons I learned from that experience. I think of this for the remainder of the night. Then at about 2am I have an epiphany. Why must I wait on a man to make the first move? Why can't I? I know what I want. Yes it is unconventional but if I wait for him to make a move I will have a repeat of what happened with Jack. No I can't go through that again. By now Julia has disappeared, most likely making out with someone outside. So I message her: "I am going to go for it! I am not going to wait for him". 

I look for Michi I find him sitting alone against a wall. Determined not to chicken out. I stand in front of him and I boldly say: 

Me: "Are you going to kiss me or not?" 

He turns redder than a ripe tomato and replies: "What?! Now?" 

Me :"Yes Now!" 

Michi: "Okay"

I sit on the chair next to him. My heart is pounding. I have never had to work so hard for a kiss before. And the seconds of anticipation as he leaned in was exhilarating. 

Our lips touch. 

Now I know this is cheesy but I swear it is true. The moment our lips touched I had an incredible amount of energy course through my body. My soul was singing! I remember thinking "This feels so right". It was the best kiss I have ever had in my life. I remember it like it was yesterday. To me it was Love's First Kiss. Now a cynic would say that the feeling I got was because of the anticipation for the kiss. I say who cares, it was pure ecstasy! The fact of the matter is that a strong, beautiful love blossomed from that first kiss.

A month later I got the courage to confess my love for him. A month after that we gave our virginity to each other and made a spiritual connection that will be there till the end of time. If there is such thing as reincarnation, our Souls will find each other again and will continue our love. I have no doubt about it.

Almost 7 years later we are married on paper and the love that we share is still as strong and magical as that first kiss.

And that my friends, is how Love found me.

Just remember that true love is like magic. If you do not believe in it you will not find it. Even if it is right in front of you. ♥